I am not a huge fan of reality TV in general. I certainly see enough drama in my life that I don’t have to spend my time watching more. However, the Biggest Loser is so much more than the typical reality drama. I actually feel privileged and grateful to these contestants for sharing their pain, struggle and accomplishments with me. Having also lived as an obese man for so many years and now working with obese clients, the pain of food addiction is something I work with everyday.
I found tonight’s show difficult to write about as we had so many great ideas and segments to choose from. The first “ah ha” appeared after only 10 seconds when Allison said “If you want to change your body you have to change your mind first”. This is probably the understatement of the year. For us to accomplish anything, even get fat it starts in our mind. The trick is to find the coach or system that has the skill to assist in getting your mind changed. Our egos are powerful and they don’t usually change without a good kick. It is so important for us to remember this and not get sucked down the “next diet” or “food merry go round” looking for that magic solution.
In the second segment, I loved Jillian’s little quote, “You didn’t come here to go to the Four Seasons, you came here to take 200lbs off your ass”. This is why we love Jillian, you can call it tough love or boot camp or whatever, but it’s nice to have someone speak the truth without the sugar coating sometimes. As a matter of fact, I believe it’s critical for obese people to hear the truth. Generally in society people walk around the obese, trying not to stare or saying anything that might offend. I applaud her radical honesty, it’s both refreshing and respectful as it acknowledges the strength of obese people and not the usual tip toeing around the issue.
The next segment featuring Jillian working with Ashley and then with both Ashley and her mom Sherry together. This is kind of interaction I mean when I say I feel privileged to watch this show. Jillian was masterful in breaking down Ashley’s “false beliefs” around having to take care of her mother.
I loved Jillian’s comment “you identify the problem and take action”. From my experience, this same kind of “family caretaking” goes on in most families. What always blows me away after working with my clients is almost always, after an open discussion between the family members the relationship blossoms into a whole new world of love and respect. It was wonderful to see Ashley and Sherry come together as adults, taking responsibility and sharing the truth about themselves.
People pleasing may be one of the most difficult issues for us to come to terms with. It is a huge source of resentment and anger which are big drivers of food addictions. Our ego’s are screaming at us……. I have to take care of ………… because…………..and because……… However, in truth it generally is not so. Remember, if you are not looking after yourself, you can’t help others. Putting yourself first allows you to help others graciously and lovingly.
“What have you done today to make yourself feel proud”? Did you write it down? Did you give yourself a pat on the back? Don’t forget, make it a habit every day. It’s a healthy habit and one of the secrets to taking weight off and keeping it off.
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With gratitude to my Biggest Loser Friends,