Haven’t we all been there? Haven’t we all gotten right to the weight loss finish line then in the snap of a finger turned around and gone the other way. How does it happen? Is it inevitable?
Maybe you remember Oprah a several years ago showing off her skin tight jeans then a few months later saying she gained 10lbs the day after that show and never fit in them again?
The statistics are sobering. Yes, 95% of dieters gain the weight back. So how does it happen? What if anything can you do to beat the odds?
Let’s start with Jillian’s comment to Daris that he is just sabotaging his success. Fair enough observation, but what does it mean? To me the word “sabotage” is just another label like “poor self esteem”, “failure”, or “no will power”. We need to look past the label and to the behaviors that create the labels if we want to truly understand and more importantly, make positive changes.
To start, what are a few behaviors or personality traits we know of food addicts/obese people?
– We use food to calm negative emotions; sadness, anger, fear, loneliness ….
– We are ashamed of our eating and like to hide it from others.
– We rarely ask for help.
Whala! The perfect ingredients for a nice juicy sabotage sandwich!
The part that so many people that lose weight do not realize is that these ingredients do not disappear when you lose weight. You diet, lose fat yes, but not the old unhealthy behaviors or personality traits.
– Daris looks fantastic……., true.
– He has made huge strides………, true.
– We are proud of him………., true.
– He has times of feeling very proud of himself………., true.
– He has learned how to handle difficult emotional issues without food………., FALSE.
– He has learned to stop hiding or learned how to ask for help………, FALSE, FALSE, FALSE.
Even though Daris ran an incredible marathon, he is just at the start of a new journey, he is not done.
Losing weight, having your friends and family jump up and down and having moments of feeling on top of the world has little impact on the unhealthy long term subconscious patterns that show their ugly heads when we are stressed and dealing with difficulties.
I have kept over 170lbs off my body for over 6 years and at times I still deal with the same issues as when I weighed over 400lbs.
To believe you made it, is to believe the lie “if I only lost the weight, my life would be perfect”. That belief is a setup for failure.
So what can Daris do, or any of us do, to stack the odds more in our favor so we are in that 5% of lifetime losers.
One of the most powerful parts of The Biggest Loser program is the support and camaraderie among the contestants. It is this 24/7 support that creates so much of the power and success for the contestants.
Can you imagine on the ranch, Daris going into the kitchen and pigging out night after night like he did at home? Not a chance! Impossible! First, if he was feeling upset and wanting to pig out he would’ve had any number of people there ready to support him and listen to him. Any feeling of wanting to get lost in a binge would have been quickly vanished.
As Daris no longer has this support, he, like us, are in the position where we need to create our own support.
Night time eating issues are very common for many of us. We can be tired (we eat to keep alert), want a reward (for getting through the day), can feel lonely, bored, and no one is around to help take our minds off any stresses we might be dealing with.
What works for me and many of my clients is to have a night time accountability partner. This can work either by having a short phone call or even an email to a friend.
I strongly suggest:
– Keeping the call very short, under 5 minutes.
– Give your partner a temperature reading of how you are doing in general
– Give a rating of between 1 – 10 on how much you feel like eating
– Make a commitment/promise not to eat until morning
– If needed, think tank some ideas on what you can do to take food off your mind
Keep it short!
This week’s challenge is to do what the unsuccessful people won’t do. Find one person to support you for no more than 5 minutes every day.
All the best,