Family Support or No Family Support: Another Part of the Journey – Biggest Loser Blog Season 10 Episode 09

Overall, I thought this episode of The Biggest Loser was one of the best of the season.    We had a few good scenes that dealt with relationships and weight loss struggle, and much less of dealing with the race to win.

I was particularly touched when Bob told Ada she was the only one that did not receive a video from home.   I don’t think it came as much of a shock to her even though it still was painful.   Especially with our core families, we all generally know what to expect.  We even learn to adapt almost like it is normal.   For Ada to say all her family cared about was her losing 100 lbs seems incredibly shallow, cruel and unloving.   This is an environment that would breed low self esteem and escape into food addiction and binge eating.

I know for myself, my clients and many others dealing with toxic family issues can be very difficult.   We are taught that our primary families are the most important relationships: to honour our mothers and fathers, etc.  However, what happens when it becomes abusive?  Where does Ada’s or your life for that matter, start and what if the family does not approve?

Ada is a fireball, someone getting ready to explode, claim her independence and set the world on fire.   She will do it if…… she is able to remove those shackles that have been attached to her for many years.

I am not saying removing those binds is easy, but at some point those of us with toxic families have to ask ourselves at what point do I get to have the life I want?  To me, Ada’s big break in getting on The Biggest Loser is not so much learning the special diet or exercise plan as it’s the massive change to her environment.  She is finding support from other team members and realizing she can do it without an anchor around her neck.   Her family of negative naysayers with their threats and put downs are not needed anymore.

As Bob said, if you don’t have a supportive family, go out and create one.   For me, I realized many years ago that I only get one crack at living here on earth.  So I asked the question, “If not now, when?”

So to you I ask, “If not now, when?”   Let’s be honest, if your answer is I’m thinking about it, or let’s see or when the moon is in Pluto, then you have a condition called “Someday-itis”: a very common affliction that is only curable by taking that step to own your life and go after your dreams.

If instead you say “Now” then start now.  What is one thing you can start right now, yes today, that will put you towards your health goals?   If it’s dealing with a toxic family, then set some boundaries or maybe make plans to leave that environment.    Plus, if you’re really determined, go and share with someone what changes you are committed to.  You can even post it on a forum or email me.

I know this is a difficult subject and can create a lot of resistance.   However, “If not now, when”?

I wish you all the best,

Steve

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