I am a big fan of Courtney; her spunk is contagious and weight loss battle inspiring. I thought the process she went through this week was a great one for all of us to learn from. How many times have we all been caught in these same kinds of dilemmas, “Should I speak up or not?” Actually in my experience I would say these kinds of decisions manifest daily and frequently multiple times a day for many of us.
From my perspective, in this situation, there was no right answer and that is the real point. So Courtney could have had a trainer for a day, maybe two with the budget they had. Was it important for Courtney to go out on her own like she did or if she had chosen the trainer, would that have guaranteed a different result? We saw the result with her on her own, not bad and really, who knows if a trainer would have made any difference? We certainly have seen multiple contestants with trainers lose 2 pounds or less in a week.
So from the comments of some of “the trainers” that guilty innuendo, “You see what happens”, was something I was personally disappointed to hear. Unless Courtney and Jennifer laid in bed and ate bon-bons, they have nothing to feel guilty about.
The real lesson I see for Courtney and all of us is not that she made the wrong decision but that she made a decision out of fear – out of possibly being labelled by Jennifer as a party pooper.
One of the biggest contributing factors for most people, especially people struggling with food addiction, is what my good friend Dov Baron calls, W.W.T.T. disease: What Will They Think Disease…… When we go out to dinner, we worry what the people at our table will think if we order something healthy or……… MY GOD…. what will that waitress say if I ask for no sauce or butter? Will I insult the host if I don’t stuff myself……… you know being asked over for a meal means you have to eat until you are sick, right? What about poor old mom? She slaved all day to make my favourite meal, I certainly can’t disappoint her! Bring it on, I have no choice, you won’t love me if I don’t eat! Who cares if it might drive me to a premature death!
Now, I know my examples may seem silly when we take them out of the emotional context, however this is really, without exaggeration, what happens, isn’t it? In the face of possibly (and I mean possibly) disappointing someone, we can turn into 5 year olds. Those inner conversations are spiked with conversation like our lives would be over if a friend, mother or even a waitress thought less of us.
And here is the real issue and one of the most powerful personal stances someone looking for weight loss, a life of health, and personal satisfaction can come from. Get to a point inside where we are ok with people not liking us or our decisions. What would that be like to accept the fact, that people will never….. ever….. ever….. ever like many of our decisions no matter what.
Yes, your friends might think you’re odd for eating healthy….. Yes, the waitress might think your a PIA (pain in the ass) for asking for special preparation…Yes, the host might think you don’t like her for not pigging out and YESSSSS….. your mom might suggest you go see the doctor and that you are not well if you don’t eat her slaved-over meal.
The big question is, are you willing to live with not having everyone like you if that was one of the rules to live a happy, healthy life? I believe strongly that it is one of the rules and the consequence of living contrary to the rule is resentment and feeling like a victim.
For me, I work on it daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Do I choose what is best for me, my health, my life or for what “I make up” will please others?
I would really like to hear your comments on today’s post. Let me know what you think and how it might affect your life.
All the best,